When it comes to dating, meeting a partner is the easy part since, in today’s technologically-advanced society, singles have the potential to meet millions of people from around the world using an online dating site (or two). The hard part is navigating new relationships. When do you first introduce intimacy? How many dates before being exclusive? 

Perhaps, though, the most pressing question for many couples -regardless of whether they meet via video dating or in person – is when they should say I love you.

In today’s article, that’s exactly what we’re diving into.

What The Numbers Say

While there’s no specific rule as to when you should say the magical three words, there are, of course, generalities and averages within the modern dating pool. In a survey done by Zencare, a therapy search service, more than 1,000 daters were asked about various aspects of their dating lives.

Included in the questions asked was a question surrounding the time frame during which they first popped the big “L” word to their current or most recent partner.

It was found that within the first three months, 55% of couples said it, with one quarter saying it during the first 1 or 2 months, specifically. 20% said that they said it after 5 months.

Based on the numbers provided here, it’s easy to assume that the best time to drop the L bomb is within the first 3 months. However, it’s important to note that the three month mark isn’t going to be the right time for every couple. Factors that play into when the right time is include the connection between the two, trust levels, and general happiness within the relationship.

What Dating Experts Say

If you’re worried that the three month mark isn’t going to be the best time for you and your partner, don’t worry. Most dating experts agree that timing shouldn’t be dwelled on and that the decision to say I love you should come organically.

Your decision shouldn’t be based on pre-existing ideas of when the appropriate time is and when you’re expected to say the words, despite the fact that many modern daters are still bogged down by the age-old idea that if you don’t say I love you within the first 6 months, the relationship is doomed.

Instead, focus on how you feel. Don’t say it unless you feel it and are sure of those feelings. Be sure that they aren’t circumstantial or based on the fact that you’ve been single for 3 years and are overjoyed to finally have found someone worth your time. As long as your feelings are genuine, there’s no reason that right now couldn’t be the best time.


If you’ve fallen in love with one of your dating matches and are feeling the urge to say the words, our best advice is to just do it. Not only is it good communication, but it could also be a positive turning point for your relationship.